She walked into my office with the swagger of a racecar pit crew boss. From her steel toed boots to her safety glasses, this dame was giving me forklift certified vibes strong enough to shake me loose from my classic depression laced with alcoholism.
her carabiner jingled with keys to four speakeasies, two u-hauls, and a thousand broken hearts.
when i have a crush i dont kick my feet or twirl my hair instead i am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just cant crack
bro last night i dreamed i killed you on accident but it was fine because i bound your soul into a kitten and you told me you were so happy with naptimes and scampering and sunshine so really i don’t need this judgemental energy you’re bringing because i accidentally killed you. in a dream.
my friend told me that her boyfriend got her a super cool rock while they were on vacation together and you would not BELIEVE my disappointment when i realized she was talking about her engagement ring
i don’t think of myself as especially desensitized to violence, like i wasn’t a liveleak kid or anything, but sometimes i’ll hear people talk about how much a scene in something affected them and it’s like. so am i secretly evil or are you pussy
